My life has swiftly turned dismal. Am each time an adjunct but still suffer loneliness! If I could, the sole thing I would do to depict my enragement, would be to fart lightning through to the Almighty to invite His gracious salvage. But again, He doesn’t give thought to upheavals, so my show of annoyance would undeniably echo, or worse still, align on rocky ground. May be the best I can do is blog myself to Stress release.
Sorry for the deviation. Let me carry on. With time Carlos became more scenic, with enchanting ways of starting and holding on to conversations, intelligent, good sense of humour, punctuated with his annoyingly laughable laughter. He seems to give most people equal portion of his valuable time- he is so friendly. His other tough sides just made him a full man, and accordingly more attractive. Eh! Enough of the praise words. But I lost him. He has become distant. Oh! Yes, coz I divulged to him how I sense him-chemistry, I am beginning to love hating it.
Now all I have to do when I want to see him is inadequately retrieve him from my mind’s eyes, yet all I get is a faint picture that is about to delete. The next thing I will do is to laugh at his old jokes in my own company. By the way, am not yet about to be off the wall, so keep your sympathy for some one who might desperately need it.
It is just so heartbreaking that sometimes we assert love to people who do not give a hoot about how we feel about them, however authentic we might be. They rather choose someone and expect them love them the way they want, which in most cases doesn’t turn out so. And how complaints are always advanced on how love is no more, yet we leave the would-be real lovers, always mystifies me. What convoluted mortals we are!
There is this long time friend I consider gone stale. We used to meet every weekend and watch soccer. Thanks to soccer, it is such a binding factor, as when am with him we don't have a thing productive to talk about. without soccer, all we do is sit and sip, sip and sip soda after soda and juice after one, makes me feel like am on drip. He is such a gentle man but, there’s nothing I learn from him, and that makes me feel am losing something, even when I know I haven’t got anything from in the first place. Am very sure he is about to call within the next two hours. Oh nooo!
One of my former workmates thinks I have a thing for him. What I hate is losing people I like, so I have kept touch with this one much as I have shifted job. And he seems to like that. He had the balls to send me an e-mail, praising me for being a true friend, and so he professes he wants more of me (intimacy he claims). But he is young, (in many facets) humble and Christian. I like and take him as a Christian brother.
And, I definitely do not want to foment his feelings (in anyway), which he disclosed are already injured. He even had the wits to point out in his message that, there would be walls between our presupposed relationship, but I wonder why he is still importunate. Observably, he is conducting himself like a castrated man trying to rape a girl.
A few days ago, I met this young man who 'taught' me literature six years back at high school. It was interesting at first but he soon glided to his boring tale of how he made me pass literature distinctively, as if am unaware of it. If he attributes the good performance to his sole or even greater effort, then it must be his greatest achievement in his entire teaching history, as he never forgets mentioning it each time we meet. For how long shall we dwell on the past Mr..?
I now dedicate this quote to my dear former teacher. 'If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today' - Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev on June 4, 1990.
Ends
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